When Stars Die

This is a character exploration piece on how Izzie is a uniquely unrevivable character in the Sirverse due to lacking her own unique soul and being outside of the reach of most gods powers. It's also a piece on how Izzie is the glue of The Motley Crew, and exactly why she worries dating Yuo is a bad idea. Izzie may be ready to die, but nobody else is ready for it.

Stardust is if Izzie's death in Maze Arc had been permanent.

Mizzie is about Izzie's one chance to survive death through fusion and that Izzie doesn't get third chances even if Mie does.

Monk Campaign is about if Izzie died before Yuo got yote at the start of Maze Arc, giving Yuo a new source of hope through Mizuko.

TAGS: Angst, Hurt & Comfort, Fusion, Character Death

Alt: Stardust

She had been the glue that held the group together. The smile that lit the darkness. Unwavering in her kindness and support. She was the one who linked them through their shared destinies, and now she was gone.

She was dust. Stardust. She hadn't even seen the beam that killed her. Killed by herself, even. Her own fear of loss that, in terrible irony, caused her to lose herself. In a way, it was almost a suicide. Roe had screamed and cried. Chantie had gathered the dust. They lost Dion, too. She had all the gold. She had everything, really. She had been their little leader.

How terrible it had been, to win. To march forward. To meet the Cardinal Legends Izzie spoke of so proudly without her. To run into little Minoru who asked if they knew an Izzie, because he had a letter for her. One that said Yuo was safe. She never knew. She'd never know. And then Alden. One look at Alden told Roe too much. To hear she had died had put an expression on his face that had managed to surprise his friends. Regret. Pain. They had to face her brother and tell him Izzie never made it.

Worse, perhaps, was the hindsight. Roe had heard Izzie speak of Minoru once and only once. That he knew her in the future and she thought of him fondly. That Minoru had all along knew her to be a dead woman walking. And that current Minoru had Yuo. Yuo would want to come back. Izzie wouldn't be here. He'd have to tell him. He had penned a letter for Minoru to bring back to Yuo if he could. One that said the truth plainly. She was gone, and he didn't blame Yuo if he didn't want to come back.

The party came back. Without Dion. Without Izzie. Faram had become crestfallen. Mie was in denial, and then crying. The kids followed suit. Squishy, in his enigmatic ways, stayed silent. The Motley was quieter without her there. Without the sound of steel being worked. Mie tried her best to cook, the way Izzie had taught her. After a few days, Faram suggested they hire a cook. They agreed.

Yuo returned. He had gained permanent wings that Mie was sure Izzie would've been nuts over. He said that he couldn't just leave her quest undone and her things untouched. She deserved a proper funeral. She deserved a great many things. The others agreed to let him go through it all, and perhaps most painful was her diary. The painful truth of how Izzie thought. Her anxieties laid bare. The same ones that killed her.

Alt: Mizzie

She, no, they, had held this group together.

They had close calls before. They had survived by miracles before. At some point, Izzie and Mie had become one being just to keep Izzie alive just a little longer. Because this group couldn't exist without Izzie at its center with her big shining smile and infinite love for every being in the Planescape. She had brought them together to start with. She kept their hopes high with good food and kindness unending. He knew what a week without her felt like. It was as if all color had been sucked from the Planescape. Life didn't feel like it was passing without her. He couldn't imagine a life without her in it anymore..

Then they ran out of miracles. He'll never forget any of the times he heard that horrible sound. The dirge of an angel's death. The first time had been when Mie had to become her vessel. The second was when they had died together.

He had been fighting alongside Roe when he heard Joni and Chantie scream like a twisted chorus "Mizzie!". They had been fighting too long, too hard. They didn't have spells left. There was nothing they could do but hope they'd be alright. He had to fight harder. He had to finish this. Then he heard that horrible song. An instinctual understanding in his heart just like the first time. "NO! IZZIE! MIE!" and with one move he had decapitated his foe and turned to run to her. Them. As he approached he heard Joni starting to cry with a broken voice "No, this isn't happening.."

The purple that had come to cover Mie, that had come from Izzie to turn Mie into Mizzie, was sloughing off in wet rivets. Mie wasn't breathing. "Please, God- Gods, no.." he whispered. The tears were already flowing. He couldn't do anything. He'd failed them. He felt Chantie's hand on his shoulder "Death come for all someday. Death.. Come too early. Can try to save them tomorrow, when rested. Only can try." Yuo nodded numbly. They had to try. He reached out to close Mie's eyes which were still colored with Izzie's yellow.

He had done his best to get them back. Chantie had cast reincarnate. It didn't work. He never knew a time when resurrection magic didn't work unless they weren't willing. Why didn't they want to come back? Speak With Dead had been something in Mie's wheelhouse, not theirs. They had been prepared to have Mie around, and she wasn't here. They paid for the spell (It was easy because once people realized why they needed it, all the people who loved Izzie would've given their lives for hers.) and they tried to contact her. To ask why she won't come back.

Izzie didn't answer. Couldn't answer. It was as if she never had a soul to start with. As if she never existed and he simply dreamed up a girl who loved everyone and loved him above all. He had to look at the friends he'd made along the way to remember he didn't dream them up from the loneliest depths of his soul. They were real, and now his entire life felt very unreal.

He wiped the tears from his face. He couldn't start crying again. He'd shed enough tears for a lifetime already. He still had to try to get Mie back. She'd know how to get Izzie back. He couldn't lose both of them. Not yet, not now.

Mie had answered him. That in her death, Izzie lost all that tethered her down, away from the First Lord. The First Lord had reclaimed her. That she could come back alone, but not with Izzie. Izzie was gone for good.

Yuo wailed in agony even as Roe and Chantie agreed to get Mie a proper resurrection. They brought her back. She knew in an instant what had happened in her moment of death though she didn't know the time that had passed. Mie had collapsed to her knees in despair. Izzie was truly gone.

Again, it was as if time wasn't passing. As if life had simply stopped. They still had to stop the First Lord, but that had been her quest. It was the destiny given to her and she wasn't here anymore. He had failed to protect her. He had broken his promise to her father. She always spoke so highly of fate and destiny. Fate was the choices made along the way, and destiny was the inevitable conclusion. She said she knew this adventure would kill her, in a moment shared only between them. He had told her not to believe such things. Told her that he believed in her ability to see things through. Maybe he shouldn't have said that. Maybe she saw and knew things he didn't.

He had to believe that because she didn't look terrified in death. It wasn't pain or regret written on her features. She looked like she was sorry. Like she had wanted to choke out an apology with her dying death. He hated that. She never had anything to apologize for. He was the one who needed to apologize. Wanted to apologize. He didn't save her when she needed him most. He was so, so sorry. He'd be sorry the rest of his life. He hadn't deserved her kindness, her smile, her love-

Mie held him close and his wings wrapped around her back. If anyone felt this loss as keenly as he did, it was her. Mie had nearly thrown away her life for Izzie twice. She had been there when Izzie died in a way nobody else could have been. They still had each other in the wake of this disaster. He had nearly lost her too, and yet that little victory rang hollow when he was consumed by such sorrow. Life would never be the same again.

She whispered to Yuo because her voice was too swollen with emotion to be louder "Even in death, she was worried if you'd be okay after. I almost.. I almost couldn't come back, but she made sure I could. Sh-she insisted I had more to do. I can't remember much but.." she gulped hard "I remember her yelling at the Raven Queen."

A moment of silence hung in the air.

"She always.. Always worried this day would come. She worried if it was selfish to love you knowing she'd die soon. She.. She told me when this day came, I'd need to keep the group together with you. She knew she'd never come back. She said.. She said every great adventuring party, every great group of heroes has to make a sacrifice, and she wanted it to be her. She wanted this, Yuo."

"Why?!" He yelled with a voice crack. He panted from the effort of even raising his voice and lost the fire inside himself immediately as his voice turned hoarse and weak "How could she.. How could anyone be so selfless.."

Mie looked down "I don't know. I don't know how long she knew. She was resigned to it long before.. Before I'd saved her. Maybe the Legendmaker prepared her. I don't know…"

Yuo wiped his face on his sleeve "She.. She yelled at the Raven Queen?"

"In that weird in-between of life and death, yeah.." Mie tried to smile even a tiny bit "I wish I could remember what she said.."

Yuo laughed as he cried and soon Mie joined him in this expression of what they had loved about Izzie. This girl that they had felt like they'd known their whole lives despite how little they truly knew her. The way she turned bitter words into sweeter memories despite not even being there. As if it were impossible to think a negative thought about her. This girl they'd loved and lost and would never see again. A girl who had no right to plan her death so far in advance, but did so because she needed to minimize all the suffering of Planescape, and especially theirs.

The Motley Wayfarer had seen better days. Their march to the First Lord, the one who had stolen their Izzie, the one who had created their Izzie, went slowly. There was no happiness to be found in such bloody work. Nobody healed from the wound made by Izzie's death. There was nothing to bury. A metal urn (Dion didn't want it to shatter) was given to Yuo. "She loved you the most." they'd all agreed on and her things were split between himself and Mie. Mie had been Izzie, and so was considered the best person to divide her things. Of course, Mie insisted that Izzie would've wanted him to have most of it. In particular, was a doll..

It was the doll that Izzie used when she missed her father or Yuo very dearly and needed to hear their voice. It was the doll she used when she needed strength and kind words. It was the doll she slept with every night even as Mizzie. It looked like her, now. It had phrases recorded into it, Mie told him.

He squeezed it. "I love you, Yuo!" He squeezed it again "I'll always be watching you!" and squeezed again "Just look to the stars!" and again "You're always wonderful!" again "Don't do anything I wouldn't!" and a last time "Te amo, mi amore!"

Perfect low celestial. He had been teaching her that. Why was he crying again? He was shocked he had any tears left. He wiped his eyes. Mie nudged him "It has some secret phrases. She did this enchantment a long time ago. I don't know what she put into it.The trigger has to be related to you so-."

A stray tear hit the doll and suddenly it went off. "Don't cry! I'm always with you!" which made his tears fall ever faster "As long as the stars shine." "Don't wait for me, mi amore." "There's so much more to life!" "And more people to love."

This only made Yuo cry harder. Stupid, selfless Izzie. To him, life had started with her. How could anything in life be worth it when it all paled in comparison to the days spent with her?

[Alt Monk Campaign]

"I.. Uh.. Mizuko.." Yuo's face was one of intense guilt

Mizuko frowned seeing the look on Yuo's face "What's up, kid?"

"How'd you know Izzie, anyway?" He avoided the thing he needed to say, but it didn't avoid Mizuko's wisdom.

She sighed "Through Minoru. He likes to pester the old geezer looking for recognition. I ran interference keeping sweet little Izzie away from business talk. I'd come with a kit for making makeup, or cookbooks, or a sewing kit, and we'd spend however long we had talking while I taught her something useful. She soaks up knowledge like a sponge. That's why I called her my little protege. Never did get to teach her poisons, though. Got involved in a fresh helping of Galbeth bullshit first."

Yuo gulped "Well, ah.. I don't know how to say this but.."

"But..?"

"Izzie.. Died. During our adventures together. We got out of it the first time when she and my friend Mie fused together, but.. We couldn't bring her back the second time." Yuo rubbed his eyes. He was crying already. It still hurt so much.

"No.. No.. Not her.. She didn't deserve that. She got to live her own life for only a few months.. Who did it? WHO'S ASS DO I KICK? AND YOU!" Mizuko grabs Yuo by his collar "DIDN'T PROTECT HER WELL ENOUGH!" Mizuko seethes a moment before dropping him. "...Sorry."

"I-it's alright. I.. I promised the Philosopher I'd protect her, and I didn't. I didn't protect her well enough." Yuo wiped his eyes on his sleeve.

Mizuko tutted "You loved her, didn't you?"

"...Yeah. It was the best couple months of my life.. I thought it'd last forever."

Mizuko wraps an arm around Yuo's shoulders "Kid, if I hadn't cheated the universe a few dozen times, I wouldn't have Minoru. Were I not an immortal I'd be shaving years off my lifespan to keep him kicking. I can't say I knew the current Izzie too well, but if she was still the fairytale-loving girl I knew, then she did it all for you." Mizuko thinks a moment "And maybe a fairytale is what you need right now."

"Huh?"

"The First Lord! The guy eats gods. If we had some of his power we could get Izzie back! You're going to kick his ass anyway, right? It's like a fairytale! You defeat him and you get one wish within his power!"

Yuo laughed a little "I don't think it works like that, but it's an idea."

Punching Galbeth in the face felt great. Getting revenge on the assholes that had contributed to the loss of Izzie made him feel like he was a demigod. Watching his friends immediately gang up on his idiot and beat the shit out of him was just.. Great. Who said revenge was bad when it had to happen anyway?

"Friends of the dreg that was returned to me. Come to struggle pathetically in revenge."

Yuo wasn't going to admit that he wanted revenge. This was the being that tormented Izzie's every step and stole her away. What he wanted more was to finish her quest that she sacrificed herself for. To take this one chance he has to get her back.

They had exchanged banter, the First Lord was firm in the destruction of everything. He still had to try to save him. That's what Izzie wanted. Then he could make his wish, and everything would be okay again. This had to work. Acamar was the only being who could give her back.

He wasn't sure what would happen if this didn't work.

"I wish for Izzie back! You're my last hope! Give her back!"

"Fool. To think you can wish for a wishing star. She was never alive. Never truly existed to start with. There is nothing left of her for me to bring back. You would be better off crying to AO or the Grand Masters."

"She was part of you! You said she was returned to you!"

"The power and nothing more. There is no soul to give your desired simulacrum life."

"Well, how do I find AO?! The Grand Masters?!"

"If either could be done, I would have. Your quest for your lost love ends in failure."

"No! It can't.. It can't end like this."

The First Lord's face softens. These heroes saved him from Orenoch's attempt to steal all he was, and he could not grant them their one wish. He is the Wishing Star and to be unable to grant a wish bothers him greatly. If only AO was whole. If only the Grand Masters were not so far. Even his powers can't reach these things that exist beyond the power of Deities.

He can only look away like a guilty child. "For what it is worth, I am sorry this is beyond my power."

Yuo doesn't have words. He doesn't even have his dignity in this moment as tears spill unwillingly. He can only cry for what has been lost. For what could've been. For what should've been. Mourning all over again.